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Conversion, So Easy, Oye!

Each Friday night after work, Bubbal Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs.  But, all of Bubbal’s neighbors were strict Catholics … and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem  for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.

The Priest came to visit Bubbal, and suggested that he become a  Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubbal attended Mass  … and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, “You  were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic.”

Bubbal’s neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived,  and the wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors,  and, as he rushed into Bubbal’s backyard, clutching a rosary and  prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubbal, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: “Oye, you waz  born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and  you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and tomato”!

 
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Burden of Proof?

Ricky Gervais
 
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No winners in the astrology game

MANGALORE: A million rupees is enough incentive to take up any challenge but that does not mean that there is always a winner - especially when it comes to astrological predictions.

In a move to dispel myths about the power of astrology, the Federation of Indian Rationalist Associations held a contest for astrologers and none of them were able to make correct predictions. The astrologers were asked to answer about 25 questions pertaining to the Lok Sabha elections-2009 and earn Rs10 lakh.

Speaking to Bangalore Mirror on the outcome of the contest, Narendra Nayak, president of the association stressed that once again astrology has been proved to be a flop.

“We received a total of 400 entries out of which 31 were received after the last date. Out of the entries received, 175 had proposed the name of BJP leader L K Advani as the next Prime Minister,” Nayak said.

One interesting observation made was that most of the Hindu astrologers had replied on behalf of Advani, while people from the minority communities swore by Dr Manmohan Singh. Some said they had given the answer through sixth sense, some gave in the name of the Almighty. One person also claimed tto have been appointed by God. The replies had come from managers of temples, lawyers, bankers and others claiming to be astrologers. “One person even asked for payment of Rs 300 for sending the reply,” Nayak said.

JUST SIX OUT OF 25

The topper in this challenge was H M Omkarappa of Chitradurga, who got six answers right out of 25. In all, 99 contestants had maintained that Manmohan Singh would become the Prime Minister while Pranab Mukherjee got nine votes, Mayawati - 12, Sonia Gandhi - seven, Rahul Gandhi - 14, Deve Gowda got two and Jayalalitha, four.

Two of the member organisations of the Federation had put forward a similar challenge in Andhra Pradesh and West Bengal. In West Bengal, the price money announced was Rs 25 lakh. In Hyderabad, two astrologers had predicted that Advani would be the Prime Minister and Chandrababu Naidu the Chief Minister. They also claimed that they would quit astrology if they were proved wrong. However, since the last two days, they have not been available on their mobile phones, Nayak said.

INCREASE IN PRICE MONEY
Initially, when the Federation began this challenge nearly two decades ago, the price money was only Rs 50,000. The amount gradually increased to Rs 1 lakh and this time the amount fixed was Rs 10 lakh. But there has never been a winner.

 
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Devil Works for God

It was a Sunday lunch invitation from one of my office colleagues as he had become a father of a baby boy a month ago. So I went there, with a feeling that I am going to get bored as I won’t know anyone there. But met another colleague and felt a little relieved. As soon as I reached there, I knew it was going to be a tough time as I had to participate in the ongoing Pooja as well which was being done for the welfare of the newborn.

While it totally went tangentially off my brain as to how a Pooja can ensure the well being of the newborn for whom, for the first year, every day is a new day, I think it went off tangentially my friend and his wife as well but due to elder’s present in home they were probably doing it is what I could read from the ambiance there.

My friend has done a masters in IT and his wife is a masters in arts and so seeing them believing in this made me wonder, how much can education do to salvage the intellectual rampage done by blind faith, superstition and intellectual black holes created by vested interests who intend to rule the society and people’s lives.

Normally I can envisage a scenario wherein the educated lot may have protested against such practices but the orthodox lot must have suppressed it saying that just because they had got the children educated does not mean the children have outsmarted them and can have a say in everything. Or may be worse, may be these people got degrees but forgot to get educated and so even being the so called white-collared educated intellectuals believe in these rituals which have near zero relevance in today’s age.

As these thoughts transcended the horizon of the gray matter of my brain, the Pooja proceedings continued. The Pundit was blabbering some mantras, best deciphered to him (I can only guess so), my friend pretending to understand them to the extent of decoding them and throwing flowers at the deity setup at the instructions of the Pundit. I was watching all this; meanwhile my other colleague took me out for some time as aunty requested us to get some tomatoes for salad. So we two went, and got them from the nearby market.

Continue reading Devil Works for God

 
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Irish Catholic church child abuse: ‘A cruel and wicked system’

Artane industrial school former pupil says he is unconvinced report will reveal full truth about abuse in Catholic-run institutions

In their distinctive Thunderbirds-style light blue uniforms with red trim, the Artane Boys Band are icons of Irish music.

For decades, the band marched around the pitch at Croke Park, in Dublin, the home of Gaelic sports, and played across Ireland, Britain and the US.

But behind the image of boyhood wholesomeness lies a darker truth.

Until the 1970s, thousands of the young men in the band were secretly being abused, beaten and exploited at the industrial school that gave the ensemble its name.

One of those who was physically beaten on a regular basis by members of the Christian Brothers order that ran Artane was Patrick Walsh, now a businessman who lives in north London.

“The band was an extraordinary facade back then at that time,” Walsh, who played the clarinet in the band during the 1960s, told the Guardian.

“It was used by the church and state to convey a bogus image of wholesomeness that did not exist in these institutions.

“In Artane, the brothers were men of violence. On a daily basis, I witnessed some savage behaviour meted out to me and other boys.

“There was more violence, actually, than sexual abuse, and that has come out in the report.

“The boys in the band didn’t receive a farthing – the Christian Brothers pocketed the money. We did the work, they took the money. There is a word for it: unpaid labour, or slavery.

“They also had a 500-acre farm at Artane, growing potatoes and vegetables, and we, the kids, worked in the fields without pay.”

For 10 years, Walsh has campaigned alongside Irish Survivors of Child Abuse to expose a system that allowed thousands of vulnerable children to be subjected to exploitation and sex abuse while in the care of both church and state.

He has welcomed today’s publication of the report by Justice Sean Ryan

But he is not convinced that, even now, the full truth will come out.

From the mid 1920s until the early 1970s, thousands of Irish children officially in the care of the state were subjected to a double regime of sexual abuse and wageless slavery.

Ireland’s notorious industrial schools and orphanages – all run by Catholic orders – were home to boys and girls who had been officially declared criminals by the courts.

Some were even sent to these institutions simply because their parents had split up: one-parent families, usually held together by abandoned wives, were regarded with suspicion in post-independence conservative Catholic Ireland.

In the last 12 years, up to 9,000 former members of Ireland’s child care system have claimed tens of millions of euros in compensation for being either exploited, abused or both in these institutions.

Later today, the Irish government will publish a five-volume report that will seek to address decades of clerical child abuse and state neglect.

It will confirm allegations from former pupils that they were used as unpaid virtual slaves who made money for religious orders in mini factories, farms, shops and laundry services.

The Ryan commission (originally the Laffoy commission) was established nine years ago and has investigated allegations of abuse in orphanages, industrial schools and church-run hospitals across the republic.

The Artane industrial school, in north Dublin, was among the institutions under scrutiny.

Walsh, one of its former pupils, said he was frustrated that the terms of the Ryan commission meant no abusers would be brought before the Irish courts.

“The victims of abuse will most likely be even more traumatised than ever to learn that, following this lengthy inquiry, there will be no criminal prosecutions brought against their abusers or against those in the hierarchy of the church … complicit in the brutal crimes against innocent children,” he said.

“It is unlikely that officials from any government department will ever be held accountable having presided over an illegal, cruel and wicked system that led to untold suffering for tens of thousands of innocent Irish children and their families since the foundation of the state.”

Walsh was “sentenced” to six years in Artane after appearing in an Irish court.

His “crime” was that his father had abandoned him along with his brothers and sisters, and the Irish authorities deemed his mother not fit to look after the children.

Between 1963 and 1969, he was incarcerated alongside young juvenile offenders in the north Dublin industrial school.

He said he was disappointed that the courts system that processed thousands of children and labelled them criminals simply because of situations such as marital breakdowns would not be under the spotlight.

Both the Ryan commission and the earlier Laffoy commission refused to scrutinise the role of the Irish courts system in sending children to places such as Artane or the Goldenbridge industrial school in Dublin’s Inchicore district.

Like the individual cases of paedophile priests in the early 1990s, the revelations of widespread child abuse in state-owned but church-run institutions dealt blow after blow to the Catholic church’s authority in the republic.

Yet when the final bill for compensating the thousands of victims of that abuse is counted, the cost will be shouldered, in the main, by the Irish taxpayer rather than the Catholic church.

In June 2002, under a special deal worked out between the Catholic hierarchy and the then government, led by Bertie Ahern, the church will pay only €128m (£112) in compensation.

The overall cost, according to official figures, will be €1.3bn.

 
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There is no such thing as scientific astrology

Rationalist Dr Narendra Nayak is at perpetual war with obscurantist trends in the society. Astrologers, crystal ball gazers and godmen have all have taken the brunt of his fury He has now challenged the community of astrologers in the country to predict the results of the ongoing Lok Sabha elections and take away an award of Rs10 lakh. Narendra Nayak spoke to M Raghuram on what made him pose the challenge to the astrologers.

If the astrologers were not able to predict the oncoming recession and its effects how will they be able to predict the outcome of elections?
It is a big con game. They cannot predict anything. Why they failed to predict the recession was because they just can’t read the future. The entire industry of astrology is a process of ‘cold reading’. They prey on the fear of the unknown in the minds of people. Only insecure people visit the astrologers including film stars, politicians, cricketers and other famous or infamous men and women.
But there is nothing in astrology that helps the astrologers to take up prediction of highly complicated issues like economic recession or global events that affect a large number of people.

Has there been any reaction from the astrologers’ community to your challenge?
Yes. But astrologers do not themselves stick their necks out. There are a few of their cronies like businessmen, racketeers, and other undesirable elements who speak out for their ‘gurus’. They did call me and issued veiled threats after I put out that challenge. Any way, this is not the first time. When I put out the same challenge during earlier elections one astrologer had predicted my death or grievous injury. Later I found out that my two-wheeler’s brake cable had been sawed up not once but twice. I am sure it is the handiwork of the henchmen of that astrologer to prove his guru right.

What do you want to prove?
I want to prove that there is not a thing such as scientific astrology. There is no methodology, no evidence or no hypotheses. There are just claims, which is what makes my challenge stronger. There is nobody in the astrology community who can rise and prove that I am wrong.

Do you think this reward model will be a big draw?
I am sure of it, I am putting out the entire fortune I had earned as a teacher on stake. I have invested my PF and gratuity earnings from my previous employment. If there is even one accurate (10% error margin) prediction on elections from any astrologer I will gladly lose the stake money and for the rest of my life I will be singing paeans in praise of that astrologer on
the roads. With my money gone, I will not have anything else to do but that. But there has been no participation or counter-challenge from the astrologer community. With the results less than a week away I hope there will be at least one astrologer who will stand up.

 
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Following atheist trend, Brits seek ‘de-baptism’

Atheists feel baptising children is a form of child abuse

London: More than 100,000 Britons have recently downloaded “certificates of de-baptism” from the internet to renounce their Christian faith.
The initiative launched by a group called the National Secular Society (NSS) follows atheist campaigns here and elsewhere, including a London bus poster which triggered protests by proclaiming “There’s probably no God”.
“We now produce a certificate on parchment and we have sold 1,500 units at three pounds a pop,” said NSS president Terry Sanderson, 58.
Another man from London held that he was too young to make any decision when he was christened at five months old.
The male nurse said he approached the Church of England to ask it to remove his name. “They said they had sought legal advice and that I should place an announcement in the London Gazette,” said Hunt, referring to one of the official journals of record of the government. So that’s what he did — his notice of renouncement was published in the Gazette in May 2008 and other have followed suit.
Michael Evans, 66, branded baptising children as “a form of child abuse” — and said that when he complained to the church where he was christened he was told to contact the European Court of Human Rights.
The Church of England said its official position was not to amend its records. “Renouncing baptism is a matter between the individual and God,” a Church spokesman said.
“We are not a ‘membership’ church, and do not keep a running total of the number of baptised people in the Church of England, and such totals do not feature in the statistics that we regularly publish,” he added. De-baptism organisers say the initiative is a response to what they see as increasing stridency from churches AFP

 
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If you could reason with…

 
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Religion: Greatest fraud played on mankind

I WAS born in an Iyengar family but my father was a progressive thinker. He kept his distance from the closeknit agraharam, the clusters of houses in a village where Brahmins live.

Since he was a freedom fighter, he was imprisoned with a Muslim, named Hassan, after whom he named his progeny — Charu Hassan, Chandra Hassan and Kamal Hassan. He even asked my mother to start wearing a white sari, depicting widowhood, inspired by Kasturba.

After qualifying as a lawyer, and enlisting in the Communist Party, I wanted to fight injustice in the manner of Che Guevara. I even opposed my father, a practising lawyer, in court.

I heard Periyar speaking many times and believed that his philosophy is: Nature is God. But when a mob threatened to break an idol in a temple close to my house, I was sent for by the priests. I challenged the mob to defile the idol first before breaking it or pass on the challenge to me. They dispersed after muttering about my insolence under their breath.

I believe that religion is the greatest fraud played on mankind.

(As told to T.K. Srinivas Chari) — CHARU HASSAN is an actor and lawyer

 
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Origin of life:Mystery ’solved’

Toronto: Canadian scientists claim to have solved a major mystery about the origins of life on earth.
The claims come at a time when the world is celebrating the bicentennial anniversary of the Father of Evolution, Charles Darwin.
Two Montreal University scientists have proposed a new theory to show how a universal molecular machine, called ribosome, self-assembled or self-organised itself to become a critical step in generating all life on earth.
“While the ribosome is a complex structure, it features a clear hierarchy that emerged based on basic chemical principles,” said biochemistry professor Sergey Steinberg, who made the discovery with student Konstantin Bokov, in a university statement on Thursday.
He said his theory explains what people imagine as “unseen forces at work when such complex structures emerge in nature”.
The Canadian scientist said the ribosome is an enormous molecule responsible for translating the messages (carried in the genetic code of all organisms) into proteins that carry out all functions, including replicating the genome itself.
Compared to biological molecules, he said, ribosomes are immense and very complex.
“Though visible only through lenses of the most powerful microscopes, comparing most other biological molecules to this behemoth (ribosome) is like comparing a tricycle to a jumbo jet,” said Steinberg.
He said he spent years pondering how a complex ribosome could have assembled itself from smaller building blocks that existed on the early earth. His work, he said, led to the discovery that the ribosome must have assembled itself from basic building blocks “in a very specific order; otherwise it would have fallen apart”. AGENCIES

 
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